Leaving behind family, friends, and favorite places is never easy, and it’s even harder through the eyes of a child. Moving, while exciting, can also seem scary, daunting, and unnecessary to kids. Especially a move so big as to move to a new country!
As our own family gets ready for our move abroad, I thought to share some tips and skills that we’ve been using to make the move less scary and more exciting for our 4 and (almost) 6 year old.
1. Be Honest About the Changes
Explain what’s behind the decision in an age appropriate manner. Talk to them about why and where you are moving to. Tell them about all the exciting new things they will experience! New parks, new food, new museums.
Don’t pretend everything will stay the same, that will make adjusting in the new place harder. Instead, talk to them as humans and with respect. Acknowledge that things are changing, but you will always have each other and they aren’t going through these changes alone.
2. Involve them in the Process
Want to traumatize your kid? Then accidentally donate their favorite toy without them knowing. Let your kids be a part of the packing process. Give them a voice in dictating which of their favorite toys get to come, and which stays.
Every time we put a toy in the donation box, we talk about how exciting another little boy or girl will get to play with it. We talk about why this toy made us happy and any memories we have with it. Then, we wish it a safe trip! This helps kids feel more in control in a situation that they really had no say in.
Don’t forget to grab a stuffy or their favorite toy to hold onto as you travel. This will help anchor your kids to a safe, familiar feeling while everything around them changes.
3. Validate Their Feelings
Remind your kids it’s okay to feel nervous or scared with the changes. These feelings are completely normal, and even us parents feel it too! Try to turn it around and ask what are they excited about, or even dive into what is making them nervous.
Remind them once again that they aren’t in this alone, and as a family you are facing it together and they have your support. Now, more than ever, you need to be your child’s safe space. Their whole world is changing and in the midst of unfamiliarity and uncertainty, you are their home.
My oldest sometimes cries about leaving his Florida home. We tell him it’s okay to feel sad but in all honesty, this house is falling apart! We talk about the animals and eco-systems that we are going to interact with on our travels (he’s a future conservationist, I wonder where he gets it from) and it completely changes his mood and gets him excited again.
Our youngest is so go-with-the-flow he is just happy to be along for the ride!
4. Make it an Adventure
Moving is a new and exciting adventure, so make it fun! Start planning what you want to do and see in your new home. If taking a road trip, plan some stops along the way.
At home, start a “destination bucket list” where everyone adds places they want to visit first—parks, ice cream shops, beaches, libraries, markets. Watch YouTube videos or read books about the new city, and let your kids be the ones to say, “Can we go there?”
The more excited you are, the more at ease they will be.
5. Keep Routines for Consistency
A lot is changing, but not everything has to. Keep some familiar routines, like bedtime stories or Sunday morning pancakes, to anchor your kids and give them some semblance of normalcy. These little traditions send a powerful message: our family is still our family, no matter where we are.
It’s not about holding on to every single routine, it’s about keeping the ones that matter most. Maybe your bedtime story is now on a balcony in France instead of a bedroom in Florida. Maybe pancakes are made with a new fruit from the market. The point is, the tradition stays—even if the backdrop changes.
These small consistencies act like a safety net for your kids. In the middle of all the “new,” they’re reminders that the important things never change.
6. Pack their Pillow and a Picture
This was one of my favorite tips I got from a fellow world schooling parent. She said to pack their pillow (or at least pillowcase) so that no matter where in the world they are, they rest their head in a familiar spot. I won’t lie, when she told me this I started to tear up! Something so simple but meaningful.
She also mentioned to take a family picture, or pictures of loved ones and keep them on your fridge before you go. Then, as you travel, you take this with you and put it on your fridge in your new home (or homes, if you’re traveling for the long haul). Again, it gives them the feeling of warmth and familiarity.
7. Family is Family, No Matter How Far
For us, our kids are really sad to be leaving their 2 sets of grandparents behind. “But what about Mimi and Pop-pop, and Abu and Abuelo,” my oldest always asks.
We remind them that Abu and Abuelo already live far, with them in NYC and us in FL, and we’ll still have our daily and weekly FaceTime calls before bed. We’ll just be a little bit farther when we move. For my parents, who live much closer, we tell them the same, that we’re only a phone call or plane ride away.
Being far doesn’t make you less of a family. Grandparents and cousins will always be able to come visit, and someday we can come back and visit them here, too. That’s probably the hardest part about this whole move, the realization that family isn’t a car ride away. Still, we hold out hope that maybe, someday, my suegra will move in with us wherever we are.
There’s no perfect script for telling your kids you’re relocating. The secret? Keep it honest, kind, and full of togetherness. Let curiosity, empathy, and inclusion lead the conversation.
The move is big—but the biggest thing they should know?
They’re not doing it alone.
On a more personal note, our time has almost come! We are a week away from leaving our home in Florida and (hopefully) never looking back. I can’t express my gratitude for all the support since we announced our move and we can’t wait to show you how life is abroad!
Want to share with friends? I made an easy-to-digest Instagram post below! 👇
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